May 13th, 2008
I ate like a huge disgusting hoggy pig tonight. I mean, I consumed an unspeakable amount of calories. Think about the worst things you can buy yourself at the grocery store and then think about eating the whole package. OMG.
I sort of wish I was bulimic so at least I could purge after I binge. But alas, I’m not mentally damaged. 
SO… After feeling so terrible that I ate all that I did, I finally motivated myself into doing a Pilates video. I picked up Quick Start Pilates for Weight Loss at Target last night, but then was too lazy when I got home from my excursion to do it. Even though it was already after 10pm tonight when I realized that I am the most disgusting person on the planet, I still cleared a spot in the living room and did my DVD.
I’ve had Yoga DVD’s before the fire that I found hard to follow along with, but this DVD was actually pretty easy to follow. The moves were challenging but the voice over was very helpful so I didn’t feel like I had to strain to try and watch the TV while trying to perform the moves at the same time. I can tell that I’m going to be very sore tomorrow, but I’m excited to finally feel a “on my way to not being a fatty” soreness again. Pilates is all about your core strength and you need to focus on “scooping your belly” to ensure that you’re engaging the proper muscles and not hurting your back. I’m hyper-sensitive about not causing any more pain to my back and so I think I was pretty good about keeping my abs engaged. In fact, just sitting here on my bench typing I’m noticing that I’m already sitting up straighter and engaging my abs. I’m pretty excited about that! I’ve always admired Beck’s posture (I know – it’s kind of a weird thing to admire about someone) and she does Pilates so I think I may have discovered her secret.
So the night started off with me being very, very, very bad but ended up on a good-health note… So I’m hoping that it all balances out in the end.
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January 20th, 2008
So, I’ve been having a fair amount of lower back pain for a while now. Â I went to my doctor about it in November, and she sent me for an MRI. Â The MRI showed that I had some bulging discs in the L4-L5 region, so she referred me to a neurosurgeon. Â
My appointment was on Friday at 1:20pm, so I decided that I’d take a half day off of work. Â I thought that I was going to be able to go to the appointment and then come home and relax all afternoon. Â Unfortunately, I was wrong. Â I was in meetings all morning at work and ended up only leaving just in time to get to the appointment in Latham – no time to grab lunch on the way like I’d hoped to. Â I arrived at the office about 1:15 and whipped through the new patient paperwork I was given and handed it back to the secretary right about 1:20. Â Then I waited. Â And waited. Â And waited. Â It was insane. Â I waited in the waiting room for over an hour, then was ushered into the office where a nurse measured and weighed me (ugh) and then sat in an exam room for over an hour waiting for the doctor. Â
The doctor rushed in and quickly shot off a bunch of questions about how bad my back was and put me through a swift batch of physical exams. Â He rushed off into another room to look at my MRI films, then came back into the room and told me: 1. My reflexes in my right ankle suck. Â 2. My left big toe is extremely weak. Â 3. He wants me to go to physical therapy for my back and if I don’t show improvement, he may consider surgery to remove the bulging discs in my back. Â YIKES!! Â He then said that he wanted me to try cortisone shots for my back and asked if I had time to do that today. Â I told him “sure”, not thinking much about it. Â He said his nurse would be in to explain everything and shot out of the room.
The nurse took me through a bunch of paperwork, let me check out and schedule a follow up appointment, then took me to a back room with two curtained off stretchers. Â She handed me a gown and said, “Take off your clothes, down to your socks, underwear, and bra and then put this gown on, tying it in the back. Â When you’re ready, head on into the big room over there and they’ll get you set up for an x-ray. Â Oh, and you’re positive you’re not pregnant?” Â That last thing, she asked me like a bajillion times. Â So did the x-ray tech. Â So did the radiologist. Â Apparently, my age is a red flag for that. Â
As I got undressed, I realized that I’d made a horrible wardrobe decision that morning: I was wearing a black lace thong. Â Now, I’m not a thin girl right now, and I’m sure my butt is not a sight that anyone would like to behold and I was pretty mortified that I’d have to go into a room where a nurse, x-ray tech, and radiologist were all going to have my butt staring at them. Â I considered my options: go in with the thong or go in with nothing. Â I figured the thong was probably the way to go and just freaking owned it. Â It actually was difficult for me to keep myself from laughing the entire time I was in the room and everyone kept remarking at how calm I was. Â I guess shit like that just doesn’t bother me. Â I mean, it’s just an x-ray and a shot and they’re all professionals and do it a million times a day. Â They also kept telling me that I was a youngin’. Â ”1979? Â I was born at the end of WWII!” Â The radiologist kept saying that I was really young to have so many degenerative changes in my back and asked if I was athletic. Â I couldn’t actually believe that he thought I might be an athlete with my enormous butt staring up at him. Â
The procedure was pretty quick and painless – the only thing that really hurt was the lidocaine shot they gave me first to numb the area and then there was a weird feeling of pressure as they injected the cortisone into my back. Â The nurse explained that they were filling up a small area with the medicine and that I’d have to remain upright for the rest of the night and sleep with 3 pillows that night so that the medication stayed in place. Â It struck me as funny that they were being so careful positioning the needle with x-rays, etc, and in the end they still needed to make sure that gravity kept the medicine in place. Â After the procedure was complete, I had a short ride on a stretcher (my first ever!) back to the curtained area where I left my clothes where they made me “recover” for about 20 minutes. Â I was freaking starving by that time, so those last 20 minutes seemed like forever. Â Luckily, I had my iPhone and was able to surf the internet and chat on AIM to pass the time. Â By the time they released me, I’d spent over 3 hours at the doctor’s that afternoon. Â It’s a good thing that I took the 1/2 day off of work – by the time I got back to Schenectady it was already after 4:30. Â
Alex took me out to get me an iMac later on that night.  It was explained to me that the way that I sit at my desk at work and, even more so, the way that I contort myself to use  my laptop at home definitely exacerbates my back pain – I think it could be the cause of it.  I mean, I never had back pain like this before I became a heavy computer user and it’s definitely increased over the last 2+ years, which coincides with when I began using my laptop.  And, since the screen is damaged (and randomly gets worse, then not as bad… It’s eventually going to fail) and Alex has been getting lots of extra cases (so we could pay cash for it), he decided that it was time for me to get my iMac.  I’m super excited.  We moved my little white writing desk to the living room and the iMac sits perfectly on top of it.  Now I’ve got no choice but to sit upright as I use the computer since the screen is huge in front of me and the seating that I have for the white desk is a white bench.  It seems to fit nicely in the living room – though I’ll probably end up repainting this desk since it’s more of a yellow than a white. Â
So that’s what’s new. Â I’ll be starting Physical Therapy this week again. Â Hopefully I can get after hours appointments again and hopefully it really helps. Â I really, really, really don’t want to have to have back surgery!!!!!! Â Oh, and I’m absolutely in love with my iMac. Â It’s the most beautiful thing ever. Â And learning an OS is geekily fun and exciting for me. Â ;) Â Weee!
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