Well, it’s Mother’s day, but I had a conspicuously mother-less day today. My Wham is in Dubai, my Mom told me late last week that she decided to spend the weekend in Puerto Rico, and Alex is on call today so we did dinner with his Mom on Friday instead. Amy came over to our place earlier today and we did the conference call with the family together from here (we had a little project to work on first) and then we went to Colonie Center together. We both needed body wash and it had been a while since we hung out so we got lunch together and did the mall thing. I got some stress relief body wash, lotion and hand cream, since it’s been so non-stop at work lately. Hopefully the soothing, spa-like smells of “tranquil mint” will help me to take a moment and relax when it’s spinning out of control at work. Hopefully. 
While we were at the mall, I picked up a birthday gift for Amy & Foster’s baby, Morgan, at Baby Gap. Her first birthday part is next weekend so I’m actually way ahead of my usual schedule of picking up gifts the night before or on the way to a party. Baby clothes are too cute for words. We got her a little pink sun dress with a coordinating handkerchief headband. I can just see Amy with Morgan this summer at the Cape – Morgan running around barefoot on the beach with this little dress on. 
I can’t believe it’s been a year since she was born already. Nora will be turning one pretty soon too and even Avery is already seven months old! It’s amazing how quickly time seems to go by now! I remember when I was little and in school – time seemed to drag on so that summer vacation always seemed to be soooooooo far away. Now a whole year has come and gone and I feel like my head’s spinning!
Maybe it’s all the babies we know or maybe it’s because I’m feeling old and time seems to be slipping by so fast or maybe it’s just Mother Nature kicking in but over the past few weeks I’ve come to the realization that I’m no longer freaked out by the thought of having a baby. I’m a little freaked out by how suddenly my feelings have changed, because if you’d asked me about a month ago when we were having kids I’d have said, “oh, not for a couple of years.” I didn’t want to plan on having kids before we were a bit further out of debt and we’ve been enjoying our “freedom” so much. I mean, when we went to Boston on our Spur-of-the-Moment trip near the end of March we secretly called it our “because we have no kids and we can” trip. So Alex was understandably taken off guard when I blurted out in the car after having cuddled Avery at Uno’s last week, “I want one.”
Unfortunately, he’s not in line with my way of thinking yet, which I completely understand because up until a few weeks ago I totally felt the same way as him. I hadn’t let him in on my change of heart before that because I was a little unsure of the reality of my feelings considering my sudden thought reversal. I decided to put it out there because keeping it from him felt like lying and I figured that he’d never start actually thinking about it unless he knew that I was ready for it. Besides, I actually don’t want to have a baby before next Summer (09) because I can’t imagine my Wham not being here for when the time comes (and frankly for before that when I’m sure I’ll freak out over every feeling/change/experience and will need easy access to Wham advice). But, since they take so long to bake, that means that we could start trying late this Fall to time it right… So I guess we’ll see if he’s ready by then.
In the meantime, I can focus on getting healthy physically and financially first. Just because there is no “official” planning yet doesn’t mean that I can’t “unofficially pre-plan”.
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