So the battery on my Beetle is dead/dying. Every time it gets really cold outside, I need to jump the battery. I am now an expert at jumping my car. It’s getting old, though, so last night while I waited in the parking lot at work for a coworker to come out and jump my car, I used Google Local on my phone and found the nearest AutoZone. I called them:
Ali: “Do you have a battery in stock for a 2000 VW Beetle?”
AutoZone: “What engine?”
Ali: “The 1.8 Turbo”
AutoZone: “Oooh, Turbo.”
Ali: “…”
AutoZone: “Yep, it looks like I have two… no… one in stock. That will be $69.99 plus tax.”
Ali: “OK, great. So, do you guys, like, install it?”
AutoZone: “Well, um, usually we do but it’s, like, freezing outside…”
Ali: “… … Yeah. I know it’s freezing outside. I’m stuck in a parking lot right now.”
AutoZone: “Well, there’s just me and the other guy here…”
Ali: “Thanks anyway.” Click.
Tools. I called Alex, who was still at work, and he Googled for another place for me to get a battery. He found an Advanced Auto Parts near by who said that they would be able to install the battery for me. After I got my car jumped I drove over there. The guy there made a valiant effort at installing the battery for me. Unfortunately, Volkswagens are weird, I guess. You’d think that if it was “the people’s car” you should be able to repair it yourself! He couldn’t figure out how to get the old battery out of the car. The user’s manual was not much help. It basically said, “To Replace Battery: Lift cover. Remove old battery. Install new battery. Replace cover.” D’oh. He put the new battery in my trunk for me and now I’ve got to figure out how to get it installed. I guess I’ll call over to the dealer near me today and bring it to them. Hopefully there is just something obvious that he was missing last night and it’s not something like the old battery is stuck in there because it’s corroded or something…
I had to go to a gym appointment last night and as I was leaving the house I said to Alex, “I just hope my car starts after I’m done!” I was expecting him to say, “Just call me if it doesn’t and I’ll come jump you.” Instead, he said, “Well, you can jump yourself off the battery in your trunk.” I know that he’s right – but how much of a tool would I look like if I was in a parking lot and I popped my hood, popped my trunk, got a battery out of my trunk and then jumped myself? People would think that I’m a moron… “Oh, you can replace the battery?! I thought you had to just keep jumping off of a new one so I kept this one in my trunk!” 
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